February 26, 2008

Ebay Exchange Meta Tag Off Topic Advice to nNwbie Auctioneers

#1 Tip To Avoid Regretting Purchases You Make At Online Auctions

Do you remember Yul Brenner and his "Whatever you do.... DON"T SMOKE" commercials"? Well if there was a similar tip that I would want to say to the whole world in so many words to all new members of online auction sites, and to anyone who, in their own natural enthusiasm and desire for an item and had the chance to say it, it would be this.
* In this article I have replaced all inferences to the most famous of online auctions with the imaginary online auction site P-buy. Thanks in advance for

1. DO NOT MAKE A BID UNTIL YOU CHECK THE SHIPPING COSTS!
Let me put it another way, if you want to avoid regretting your purchase, the first thing to make sure of is the cost of shipping. I reiterate for the sake of Clarity of the intent of my guide and message the following:

DO NOT BID ON ANY ITEM, UNTIL, YOU BEHOLD WITH YOUR EYES THE COST OF SHIPPING!

That is the #1 tip to avoid regretting your purchases on P-buy. Make sure to look at the shipping costs and do research for what would be considered a reasonable rate for the shipping of your prospective items.
This tip is so important that it should be requisite for all new future members of P-buy to read before signing the dotted line understand the concept of "Caveat Empore" or "Buyer Beware". It should not be proclaimed throughout the entire P-buy kingdom, coming forth not as an omen or prophecy; nor should this be divined neither from the Oracle at Delphi, nor from the wise sayings of King Solomon and re-iterated in his proverbs, but should be understood that as a new member of P-buy there are inherent dangers to membership. It is called in some places, the hornswaggle.
The agreement a bidder/consumer/customer/buyer signs electronically. P-buy should relay the message "Buyers Beware" so thoroughly on their home page that we would be able to say, “Caveat Empore”, in 4 different languages as easy as we can say our own Alphabet.
If I haven't already said this it warrants a replay: Buyer Beware The statement doesn't mention. My warning is to all classes of buyers, many of whom, like myself, may harbor, (no doubt, as of this reading), regrets about a purchase or purchases which they have fallen prey to the Hungry Dollar P-buy Selling Wolf Bandits in the guise of our most endearing and trusted household name, donning Grandmother's apron and hood, that, as sellers, are ever diligent in their efforts to secure their lucre that a little dishonesty can pull the wool over the eyes of their potential customer, thereby getting their sell. They finely tune their listings, and use every device, technique, method, story, picture, html, FORTRAN, Cobol, verbiage, photo bait and switch, whatever it takes to get $5 extra dollars from the American Democratic principles laid down by the forefathers of our great nation. P-buy should make every effort to protect these types of scams from occurring.
P-buy has been doing, as good a job, as can be expected from the evil few that really want me to be miserable after making a stupid buyers mistake. Avoid pain in the future, whatever you do… Always, always look both ways before you cross the street, making sure to wear clean underwear. A human mistake I made and it cost me $6 dollars. Yes a whopping $6 dollars I still feel to this day that the item was misrepresented, and the item that I got was a harsh reality of a grand illusion that I had just taken part of.
I paid close to $8 for $1.89 worth of value in the item in question. It even makes one feel bad about the choice but only later when it’s too late to back out of the deal. A seller that offers no return policy needs to be asked why they do not offer a return policy. But before even looking at whether the seller even offers a return of goods policy check the price of the shipping.
Here is my bad experience with one bad apple at P-buy. (Told in all my naivety as an P-buy-er who has already sold and bought items on P-buy) Boy what a sucker I am, I thought to myself as my blood boiled from the shock I received after getting my auction item. The item was a Sacagawea Dollar being sold at $0.99 cent. A measly dollar for a Sacagawea Gold Sparkling Coin and a super prize bonus of untold value awaiting my PayPal completed transaction, or the offered bonus which was stated as being an uncirculated coin.
With promises of grandeur I quickly jumped to the bidding button and laid down my amazing $0.99 bid." So I kept thinking to myself, Boy what a good boy am I...Didn't I do well… Look Mom... No Hands! I am such a good a smart shopper…Etc. And I got all excited because I was seemingly getting a superior deal. Gee...what a good boy am I… NOT… Due to a lack of bad experiences on P-buy I Hastily jumped on the bidders stump and said boy let me tell you what.
I guess you didn’t know it, but I'm a coin collector too; and, if you care to bid on my item I'll give you an uncirculated coin too. I fell for it jumped on the band wagon and bid the only bid for this item in which this seller floods P-buy with pages of her swaggle. With 2175 successful sells, you got to give this seller their due. After all this is America and it is the land of opportunity. I was almost converted to the dark-side in thinking; wow this seller is smart for being able to rip me off like that. If just I wasn't as stupid I wouldn't have fell for it. I believe P-buy’s incredible growth as a company has done a very good job in all sectors of its being. Hats off to P-buy for succeeding. For making improvements to their site, in spite of the enormity, and complexity of their tasks. Nobody is Perfect, Even Monkeys Fall from Trees.(Saru mo ki kara ochiru.) We can cut P-buy a little slack for the enormity of their enterprise.
I have no qualms with P-buy at all, and it just seems to improve day by day in every way. P-buy is such an amazingly dynamic place and provides bountifully and continues to be helpful to an ever improving and changing customer/consumer/buyer experience. P-buy can't be held responsible for buyers not being careful. "Caveat Empore" or "Buyer Beware" should at least ring forth into my head each time I open the My P-buy page or right before I put the numbers in the box for my bid price and before I input any digits of my credit card, again it wouldn't hurt to put a pop up right in my face, yeah a dirty little popup reminding me of that Phrase "Caveat Empore" I would even at that point welcome such an unwelcome pop-up for reminding me that as a buyer I need to be forewarned, I need to beware less I regret making a purchase on P-buy .
Not looking at the shipping price before bidding on an item is a no-no. If you want to avoid regretting a purchase you make on P-buy, follow my #1 Tip and you will fare much better. You will avoid regretting things later on down the line. It is so easy to get enraptured in a fabulous looking offer that at the peak, the apex of my rapture about finding such a golden treasure of an item to bid on, only after patting myself on the back for what seems to be superific deal of my lifetime, offer, or prize that I totally forgot to look at the #1 tip on how to avoid regretting my purchases on P-buy. That is, if you allow me to repeat it again
DO NOT BID ON AN ITEM UNTIL YOU HAVE BEHELD WITH YOUR EYES THE SHIPPING COSTS!
I am positive I am not alone in when I complain but little about how I have been hornswaggled by the wicked witch of the shipping north and how on top of being burned for shipping costs I was also scammed out of an item I thought I was going to receive and the difference between it and the item I actually received.
I would like to end this little guide, lense, article of mine by saying thank you to all the honest people that anonymously or knowingly work hard to make P-buy a really safe and cool place to hang out, have fun, shop, or just dream about stuff.